Winning the Heart of Your Wife

Islam is a religion of peace, love, and compassion. Lies, suspicion, backbiting, slander, vain talk — all these are anathema to Islam. Indeed, such negative activity sows the seeds of enmity among the people and ultimately brings about the downfall of society. Backbiting (ghibah) in particular, according to the Qur’an, is not just a common social evil, but rather an abhorrent act, a major sin — the equivalent of eating one’s brother’s flesh.

Numerous ahadith of the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) also underscore the complete futility, extreme loathsomeness and grave consequences of the deliberate misrepresentation of others. Backbiting, by the unanimous rulings of religious scholars (ijma) is forbidden, so that anyone who indulges in it is guilty of serious wrongdoing. Yet people have no qualms about engaging in this practice, flouting all prohibitions and strict commands.

Drawing upon important source material on the subjects of backbiting, false accusation (bhutan), and related issues, this book highlights the need to keep our society free of his ignoble malaise. To this end, it elucidates the relevant commands and prohibitions of the Shari’ah, so as to create in the minds of its readers a deep awareness of the sinfulness and ill effects of calumny.

By Shakil Ahmad Khan and Wasim Ahmad

This is a revised and updated edition of Backbiting (formerly entitled Gossip and its Adverse Effects). The translator, Huda Khattab, explains: The Qur’an states: {…nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would abhor it…} (Qur’an 49: 12) We cannot escape the fact that backbiting affects us all. We have all been victims and, we must be honest, we have all been guilty of this sin. But it is not a matter to be taken lightly; backbiting can wreck lives and shatter communities. Islam is a practical faith that recognizes the human condition and offers achievable remedies to the problems that beset us. Every human society faces the problem of backbiting, and Islam shows us how to tackle it in a sensible and humane manner. Husayn al-Awayishah has researched this topic in depth, and has presented a concise guide to the evils of backbiting and what can be done about it. This book may make for uncomfortable reading, but the topic is one that every one of us has to face up to.

Translated by Abu Rumaysah “Know O beloved reader that it is most important to spend one’s time and energy in treating the heart, and hastening to correct and purify it from sickness and all sins. This is due to the heart occupying a great and lofty position in Islaam, for it is the place to which the Lord looks and the storehouse for tawheed, faith, and sincerity. Actions are distinguished, one from the other, with respect to their excellence in the Sight of Allah in accordance with the condition of the heart, not by their number or form, but rather due to the strength of the caller, his or her truthfulness, his or her sincerity and the extent to which he or she prefers Allah over himself or herself … Al-Haafidh ibn Hajr al-Asqalaanee, may Allah have mercy upon him and provide us with his knowledge, said: “The heart has been singled out for this because it is the leader of the body, and through the purification of the leader the subjects become purified, and with his corruption they become corrupted. So if you, O servant of Allah, with to cure your heart then it is upon you to be truthful with regards to seeking refuge with Allah and putting your trust in Him, to pray a great deal of superogatory prayers, to perform the actions of obedience to Allah frequently, to pray the night prayer while the people are sleeping, and to treat your heart by making it continuously stick to the remembrances and by befriending only the righteous … and to frequently recite the Qur’an. And Allah will indeed allow all of this to be preserved by him.”